Introduction To Lead Engineer
Hi all, My name is Drew Fazzino, I am a Senior at the University of Oklahoma. My major is Mechanical Engineering. The coolest thing about my major is seeing how different systems work together and run, as well as making parts in CAD and seeing them get made. The best class I took last semester was Engineering Design because I learned different CAD platforms and how to dynamically analyze parts via computer, taking out some of the time of tedious hand calculations. My biggest accomplishment last semester was boosting my gpa some and just having a good semester in general. Over the break, I went to Colorado for a couple of weeks and relaxed a little before and after my internship at innovex downhole solutions. It was a blessing to receive the internship this summer because it was great infield experience working with lead mechanical engineers all summer long. Although I said Colorado was my favorite place in the last blog I enjoy being on the water fishing too. I am the pre
Wow, Drew, I greatly enjoyed looking at your portfolio project “Stories Retold.” I was able to read through your story “The Chipmunks and the Eagle.” It was a very captivating tale. Great work! Right off the bat, the first thing that stood out to me is your ability to paint a picture of the scene and the imagery. It felt as if the reader was almost there with the animals in Colorado. I also enjoyed how you described the moment when the eagles were feasting on the chipmunks. At this part, it might build some suspense to go in more detail with the “blood and guts” of how the chipmunks were destroyed by the eagles. Also, while the moral of the story is apparent upon reading, it might be more in line with a folk tale like story to explicitly state the moral towards the end. Overall, this is an excellent story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Drew!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the pictures that you have in your portfolio. The first picture is one of excitement and gets the reader to feel jus that before diving deeper into the readings and the second picture on The Chipmunks and the Eagle page does a good job of showing off the eagle and how majestic they look. Though the eagle looks majestic the beginning of the story somewhat changes my mind since you do a good job at painting a positive picture for the chipmunks and creating sympathy for them. I also appreacited the spacing within your story, this helps to break the story up and to make it easier to read rather than it all running together!
Hi, Drew!! First off let me say that your storybook website is really cool! It looks sleek and modern. At the beginning of your story I noticed that you used more descriptive adjectives and I think that really helps readers feel like they're in the story. I think you should try to incorporate more of that into future stories that you right. I kind of wanted to see what happened after the chipmunk family was eaten. Did the eagles keep tricking the poor chipmunks or did they receive their own karma in some kind of way? I kind of like the idea of the eagles getting what's coming to them. Those poor chipmunks. I think it be a interesting way to continue the story. Your dialogue was written very well and I hope that you have a little dialogue in all your stories!
ReplyDeleteHey Drew!
ReplyDeleteI really like your portfolio site and the image of the OU stadium! It looks so cool and stands out. I read your story of "The Chipmunks and the Eagle," and absolutely enjoyed it. It was very clever the way you wrote it and liked that you changed the characters from the original story. You story was well written and you included a lot adjectives, which helped in picturing you story. What if the mother eagle just tells the young eagle to invite the chipmunk family over instead of revealing what they were going to do in the end? I feel like that would keep the suspension going and would be a shocker at the end of the story. Also, I think you did a good job on conveying the message on how the chipmunks should have thought the offer through instead of instantly agreeing to help the young eagle. Overall, you did a great job on the story so keep it up!
Hi Drew!
ReplyDeleteI like how closely you stuck to the original and still made it your own. I must say that after seeing the American flag on the home page, I was rooting for the eagle in the story. I liked how you made it a task that the young eagle was given and that completing it was a part of him growing up and starting the journey to live on his own. Maybe the eagle could have had a different task before that was maybe too easy for him? Or even one that was too difficult, and that would make the victory that much sweeter for him when he brought the family of chipmunks back to feast on. It was great to see that both the original and your story show that getting too eager can lead to trouble when one doesn't anticipate what could happen. Especially when the it includes natural enemies helping each other!
Hi Drew!
ReplyDeleteWhen I first opened your website, I was blown away. What a beautiful picture! What a beautiful stadium! I think this is a good picture choice to draw in readers and make them curious about the contents of your storybook. "Young eagle eager as ever" is now my new favorite tongue twister. Your first story was a creative twist on the story of the Turtles and the Geese. I like that you made the risk more figurative than literal. Your use of pictures throughout your storybook is fantastic! I think I read your PBR story on your general class blog. It was just as enjoyable to read the second round. Are all of your stories going to be about animals? Keep up the good work with your portfolio and I look forward to reading the rest of your stories. Good luck writing the rest of your stories.
Hi Drew!
ReplyDeleteOne think that struck me immediately when reading through your website was your use of powerful cover images- I love the one with the eagle especially! Your coverpage is simple and clear, and I’m curious to see if your next story will incorporate OU football in some way (I hope so!). While reading your first story (about the chipmunks and eagle), I really enjoyed the jataka-feel throughout, with the animals and the concrete moral at the end it would fit right in with so many of the stories we have already read this semester. One nugget of feedback: I recommend going back through and checking on some of the punctuation. There are definitely moments which could be made just a bit more clear with the use of some commas! Overall, the tone was perfect and easy to follow. For your second story (the bullrider) I loved the setting! It was the first story of that type I’ve read in this class, and I appreciated how you kept the ideas of the Ramayana but made them entirely your own. The moral is rock solid, and the punctuation is consistent! If anything, I would recommend tidying up your tenses, especially in the beginning, where you switch from past to present in the same sentence. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Drew! First off, I love the design of your site and the photos you used to portray the story you were telling. I was instantly intrigued by your first story because i love trickery stories. I liked how I read your story and could easily relate it back to some of our readings and was able to make connections with some of the Indian Epics. When reading your author's note it was nice to see how you kept the story similar to the original but also put your own twist on it and transformed the characters. After reading the first story i do wish that there was more information about what happened to the eagle family after they ate the chipmunk family. Did the eagle family continue to do this to other families or was it just this one time? are they ever punished? Some more detail that would provide some answers at the end of the story may provide some more insight. But either way your story is great and I really enjoyed reading it, the trickery they used was clever and kept me wanting to read the story.
ReplyDeleteHey Drew! I would like to start off by saying that I loved your story! I have been taking an animal approach with my stories and it seems to be working well! It is nice to see that others have also been making animal stories. Also, I really like your picture you have for your storybook! It is really nice. Commenting on your story now, I really like how you ended the story. There was no redemption for the chipmunks! They just made a bad decision and it turned out for the worst. Perhaps, you could go into detail, if the mother eagle has performed a task like this before. Maybe its a family tradition or something. However, Keep up the great work! I enjoyed the read. I look forward to reading more of your stories. Also, good luck with the rest of your semester! And have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteHi Drew, I enjoyed your portfolio and your stories as well. Your first story with the eagle and chipmunks was adorable and you wrote it in a way that was easy to follow. The storyline reminded me of the anthology series and I really enjoyed that. I almost thought there was going to be a plot twist towards the end. In a way, I feel that it would add a little more to your story. Towards the end, there were some grammar mistakes but it was not detrimental to the story. The end was slightly abrupt but I did get the point you were trying to make as the moral of the story. I also really enjoyed your second story. You have a great storytelling style. I like that you made that story a flashback but also brought it back to present day. It added to the story itself in a good way.
ReplyDeleteHi Drew,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the picture of the stadium and the american flag. It is so pretty and I am glad you put it first. It really caught my eye because its really colorful and I wanted to find out what your stories were about. When I looked around your page I noticed the way your page was set up and I really liked it. You have broad picture and a nicely written big tittle. It is so simple yet looks really nice on the eyes. After I got to reading your story I really enjoyed it. From the beginning your story had my attention and I just wanted to read more and more and find out what would happen next. I really like the moral of your story. It is great when a story has a meaning to it rather than it being so random without a meaning. With a morel there is a purpose to the story. I look forward to reading more of your stores because I really like them. Keep you the good work!
Hi Drew! All I honestly wanted to say was that you did an amazing job for your Portfolio project! I definitely appreciate that you put a description about your project on your home page. The image for your homepage looks excellent and great overall! I also love the stories that you have created for your portfolio. The images for both of your stories captures the audience’s interest as well. It gives a better visual for the audience to take before they start reading your story. I also love how you created the Chipmunks and the Eagle and turned it into a script! Creating a script for your story is, overall, the best thing because it could show the author’s personality and interests which makes it more exciting. Overall, I love the plot of your story that the chipmunks should think longer about a life-altering decision before they jump in and said yes because it makes sense! Overall, you did an excellent job. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHi Drew! I really like the font and the size that you are using. It makes it very easy to read. Your first story was very clever and well-detailed. I liked that you changed it. It really makes it a new story. Your second story is also very interesting. The use of karma was well-thought and different from the stories we read in class. Your idea was easy to relate to and understandable. I could clearly see the messages you were conveying both of the stories. If you wanted, you can put in more detail about the setting for the first story and facts about bull-riding in the second. If you want to put the first story in a specific place or mountainside, it can just help a reader visualize it better. The second story would be fun to have some more information about bull-riding if that is something you know about.
ReplyDeleteHey there Drew! I just got the chance to take a look at your story site and I really enjoyed it. I loved the stories that you chose and I also really enjoyed the way that you were able to change up the stories and yet kept the overall, main idea of the original story. I really enjoyed your style of writing as well, and I feel like you used a lot of great descriptive words in your stories. In your story The Journey Through Hibernation, my favorite part of the page was the picture that you chose... the bears are so cute! The Chipmunks and the Eagle was my favorite story on your site so far, because the descriptions that you used in this story really stuck out to me. The Past Comes to Haunt was also a great story, but like Lauren Skaggs said in her comment above, I really would like some more information on the setting as well as bull-riding in general. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Drew! This is my second time visiting your website. For the second time, I am blown away by the images you are using! They are so bright, crisp, and colorful. They do an excellent job of drawing the reader in. I love your story, A Journey Through Hibernation. It was well-written and had a great message and happy ending. I thought your Author's note did a good job explaining what the original story was and the aspects that you changed. I like how you made the two siblings stick together in your version. Sibling bonds seem to be a strong theme in a lot of the Indian epics we have been reading, so great job. I had read the other stories before, but after rereading them, I like them just as much as I did the first time. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading the finished product!
ReplyDeleteHey Drew,
ReplyDeleteThis is actually my first time visiting your site and it looks amazing! There's so much to it and pictures to go off of as well. It was very amusing to read and reference. Your style of writing is very proficient and thorough. The Chipmunks and the Eagle was a great read! The ending happen to turn out as expected and without a crazy twist! I like how you kept it original and decided to go all in for it. I can't wait to see what else you have in store for us!