Week 2 Story: The Chipmunks and the Eagle
There once was a quaint little family of chipmunks that lived
in the heart of the Rockies on Mount. Quandary. These chipmunks thought they
had everything they could ever need, a small stream running by their tree, a field
with a plethora of berries and nuts and the greatest view in the Rockies.
On the other side of the valley there was a mother eagle
with that was raising her young eagle to be big, strong and independent one
day. When the young eagle was big enough the mother gave him his first big
task.
She said, “Across the valley I have seen this family of
chipmunks that live in the tallest pine tree on the north side, are you capable
of tricking the family to coming over to our house for us to have a massive
feast?”
“Of course, mother!” said the young eagle eager as ever.
The young eagle spread its great growing wings wide and took
flight for the trip across the valley. As he made his way closer to the tall
pine tree he landed just a little before the chipmunks could see him. The young
eagle cleverly hobbled his way to the base of the tree and pecked at the base
of the tree. The entire family of chipmunks came out to see what was wrong,
while scared at first the father chipmunk when to see what was wrong with the
eagle.
“What’s wrong?” said the father chipmunk.
“I am just a young eagle, I went on my first flight and
landed but got lost!” said the young eagle.
“How can I help?” Said the Father chipmunk cautiously.
“Well if your interested you and your family can move to the
nicest part of the mountain which is right by me! I just need your wise and
matured mind to be able to get back home safely.” Said the young chipmunk.
The older chipmunk thought long and hard about this decision
and came to a decision he said “I have lived here for many years now and have
never moved! So, I have decided to help get you back home!”
To the eagles surprise he said, “Great lets go now!”
The chipmunk family and the young eagle made their long trip
back to the other side of the valley where the mother eagle was patiently
waiting. The chipmunks were ecstatic for this new section in their lives and
were thinking of all the new things they could do in this unfamiliar section of
the forest.
The mother’s keen eye had been watching their return trip and
was preparing for the young eagles return. Finally, after a day of travel the
time had come and the young eagle brought them to the base of is home where the
mother swooped down off her high perch and wiped out the entire family of
chipmunks with her mighty talons and piercing beak. That night the young eagle
and the proud mother feasted on the young ones first victory.
Authors Notes: This story is based on the turtle and the geese story. In the story I just told I Changes the characters to Eagles and chipmunks. As well I changed the plot a bit from what it was in the original story.
The Mother Eagle Looking for the young Eagle. Picture Source: North Quabbin Photography
Wow, Drew, I really enjoyed reading your story. First of all, you did a great job of setting the scene. Your description of nature in the first paragraph was wonderful, if not breathtaking. The storyline itself was engaging throughout. I do have a question about one part. I am not exactly sure why the chipmunks were so eager to move to a new area with an Eagle. It seems that they were jumping at the opportunity. It might be good to put a bit more clarification in that section. I was also surprised that the mother eagle sent the baby off so quickly. What if she provided the baby eagle with some strategies for tricking the chipmunks? This could provide some foreshadowing as to what would happen once the eagle reaches the chipmunks. Also, it might be interesting to provide more details on how, exactly, the eagle carried all the chipmunks back. Overall, great job. This was a fun read!
ReplyDeleteHi Drew,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your sweet and short story. I like how you changed up the turtle and geese story up and made it your own. It is very clever that you thought of that. I could really imagine the characters and the setting as I was reading it. I wish you had talked a little more about the mother eagle and the baby eagle more and how the baby eagle should trick the chipmunk family or another thing you can also do is talk more about the journey that the took to get back to the mother eagle. Over all though, I did enjoy your story. Looking forward to reading more.
“The young eagle, eager as ever” This is such a great alliteration- I love it! I appreciated the switch to eagles and chipmunks- it made the characters seem more familiar from an indigenous-to-this-continent kind of context. The ending was abrupt and effective, and you did a great job of conveying the joviality of the chipmunks and the earnest nature of the young eagle. Nice story!
ReplyDeleteHey Drew!
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was great! Your writing and dialogue was superb as well. I will admit, I was surprised that the family of chipmunks died at the end! Half way through the story, I just imagined that somehow the chipmunk family was going to make it through and survive, but the way your story ended brought a good unexpected twist! I wonder though, if you were to allow maybe one of the chipmunks to survive this terrible ordeal, how it would change the feel and direction of your story? Maybe you could then have a follow up story of how the sole surviving chipmunk plans his ultimate revenge on the eagle family! However, these are just suggestions. I ultimately believe the story you wrote is great! I was engaged from the beginning till the end. Therefore, keep up the good work and have a great semester!
Hi Drew!
ReplyDeleteI just read your story, and it was very good. I liked how ruthless the eagles acted toward the chipmunks. It was very intense and had a survival of the fittest feel to it. I liked how the mother guided and watched over the young eagle. Overall, it is a good adaptation of the original story. I look forward to reading your other stories.